The Psychological Immune System

When We End Up Coping Better than We Thought

As I’ve written in the last post, the Coronavirus crisis has turned life upside down for practically everyone, leading to a host of emotional reactions and feelings. Some people are dealing with it better than others, and this of course depends on how much their lives, and livelihoods have been impacted, but it’s probably fair to say that it’s a challenge all around for most of us. Negative emotions are in vast supply, including anxiety, worry, irritability, sadness and even grief. There is plenty of misery to go around, and deep down it might feel like this misery will never end, especially now that it looks like government-imposed lockdowns will be in place for weeks, or even months.

One thing that is worth keeping in mind, though, is that people often show unexpected resilience in the face of even great adversity: They end up coping much better than they (or others) would have thought. In fact, we are generally not very good at anticipating how we will feel in the future, that is, we are lousy at what’s called Affective Forecasting. That's the case for positive events, for example, with people expecting that winning the lottery is the ultimate life-changing event, but the research shows that even after a big win, people tend to go back to their baseline level of happiness after about 6 months. The term Miswanting describes the phenomenon that we chase after stuff that we think will bring great happiness, only to then realise that the resulting pleasure is relatively short-lived. It's a shame that the highs we get from positive events will likely wear off, but it also means that the lows we dread will also tend to wear off, including sooner than we might have expected.

All this relates to the Psychological Immune System, namely our remarkable ability to deal with setbacks and roadblocks, and whatever else life throws at us, and then move on. It’s basically a psychological shield that you didn’t even know you had.

   

A classic study looked at how people would cope if their worst nightmare were to come true: Not getting their contract renewed for the job they always wanted. Assistant professors typically work at universities for 5-6 years, and then are considered for ‘tenure’, i.e., a permanent position. Ask any assistant professor who does not have tenure yet, and they will say that they can’t imagine many things that would be worse than being denied tenure. In a study assistant professors were asked how they would feel if they were not offered a permanent position. Predictably, those who then had this happen to them felt bad right afterwards. But they actually bounced back some time after the event, when their happiness and life satisfaction was comparable to that of assistant professors who did have their contracts renewed. Similar studies have been done for predictions of the long-term unhappiness following a relationship break-up, and other dreaded life events.

Why do people show these patterns when it comes to anticipating their future feelings? One explanation is so-called Focalism, that is, we have tunnel vision and focus only on the one thing we are worried about, but not on all the other stuff that will also be going on in the future. When you ask an assistant professor about tenure, that’s the one thing they are considering. Similarly, when you ask someone right now about losing their job, etc. they will be focused on that, namely that one thing you asked them about. But they might forget about all the other good things in life, such as having a caring, supportive family, being in good health, or the fact that there might be other, perhaps even better jobs out there. Don’t get me wrong: Losing a job will probably feel miserable, but people may be surprised that the misery will not be as intense, and as long-lasting as they expected.

When the Psychological Immune System kicks into action, it also can help people find meaning in life; they may think of the challenges they encountered as opportunities for growth, for example, as ‘fate’ running its course. We are generally remarkably good at reading meaning into past live events, along the lines that “it was for the better”, or it “was meant to be” because there were unexpected positive outcomes. Whether that was objectively true or not isn’t all that relevant, but the result is that people often surprise themselves by coming out stronger on the other side, when they move beyond what earlier felt like an insurmountable hurdle.

The Punchline:

US President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said in his inaugural speech, held in 1933 during the depth of the great depression, that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." He probably was right: Whatever we encounter tomorrow many not be nearly as bad as what we fear today.